Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
