Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
