yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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