jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
