I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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