Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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