Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize