Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
