Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
