I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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