You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
