He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
