i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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