I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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