...so i touched it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize