He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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