I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
