remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
