Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
