i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
