So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I need a beard to bite.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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