I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
