I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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