she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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