I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
