READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
