the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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