we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
