Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
