And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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