You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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