She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my being single is dangerous.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
