before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't think brook has ever known best
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
