the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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