i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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