Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
