I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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