weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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