Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize