I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
