dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
