I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
