I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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