no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize