why didn't you poke me back
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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