Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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