she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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