I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
