Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
