direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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