He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
