Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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