I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
