Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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