YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
