I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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