Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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