i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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