the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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