Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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