Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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