he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You took a bar mat shot.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
