Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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