just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
