By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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